Hosea

God led me to read the 3rd Chapter of Hosea today. I didn't realize Hosea was told to take another wife (another adulteress) after Gomer: 
Hosea 3
"Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress, even as the LORD loves the sons of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes." So I bought her for myself for fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a half of barley. Then I said to her, "You shall stay with me for many days. You shall not play the harlot, nor shall you have a man; so I will also be toward you." For the sons of Israel will remain for many days without king or prince, without sacrifice or sacred pillar and without ephod or household idols. Afterward the sons of Israel will return and seek the LORD their God and David their king; and they will come trembling to the LORD and to His goodness in the last days.

I always identified with Hosea and understood His relationship with God. God told me to marry Tom Winter. I never doubted I did the will of God in marrying him even when things got tough as they will in all marriages (though God gave me grace to obey Him). I asked God about three years ago, "Why have I been praying for 23 and 1/2 years that Tom be healed but he still hasn't been healed of his broken heart?"

God said, "Because My Church is suffering from a broken heart and She is harboring a spirit of bitterness." 

I know what a broken heart looks like. I know the limitations, the unbelief, the suffering. I have seen the devastating, crippling effects of bitterness.

I always knew my marriage to Tom was for the development of my ministry as a Preacher. I feel honored to have been loved by Tom Winter and the sacrifice his life was for God's purposes to be fulfilled. I am blessed to be able to say to our children, "I am blessed and I feel honored to have been your dad's wife." I have been loving Tom and enjoying the memories of our marriage through the Holy Spirit. It is as if I am getting to enjoy a honeymoon/newlywed phase during this time of loss and grief.