While the changes are stark and vivid in my memories, I am writing of my most recent deliverances. I am able to recognize the existance of principalities. They can occur daily or occassionally but the neat thing is, I am aware when they show up. I have a mental clarity and I am able to hear my own thoughts without loud, cluttering background noise. A few years ago, having a contempletive moment in the shower, I told God I know I knew His voice but I couldn't tell if it was the enemy's voice or my own thoughts for that matter. I started asking Him to help me hear better. I also asked Him to let me see demons; not that I wanted to be grossed out or freaked out in any way, I just wanted to understand the realm around me regarding the spiritual war. Well, after "seeing" as many demons as I have these past few years, and benefitting from the many that no longer torment me from within me, I am thinking clearly (though I still benefit from taking my Adderall). My mind is filled with my own thoughts and conversations with The Father. The lies of the enemy are distinguishable. The more I hide the Word of God in my heart and meditate on it day and night, the more I am able to discern the lie and sin becomes a deliberate act of my flesh.
When I was first saved, I thought Christianity had just begun with the Jesus movement of the 60s and 70s. And through most of my adult life I thought I was the only one that walked in bondage without knowing the degree to which I was in bondage? People have never been naturally drawn to me. And, if we were drawn together for one reason or another, the friendship didn't last long. I seemed to put people off, or it seemed like I made them uncomfortable. I was so familiar with that lack of ease I felt around others. But, lately, I have been laughing. I am able to come up with a well timed quip that eases tension. I still can't remember punch lines so I doubt I will win any comedian contests but it is a healthy and very welcomed change to my existence. My Spirit and The Holy Spirit and I really enjoy each other's company. I don't have a barrage of lies and empty thoughts and accusations cluttering up my mind and my feelings.
So, in case there is another person who has been abused or abused anyone, and could have his eyes opened to 'see' for the first time the captivity he is in, and is willing to ask God to show him, "What is the truth?" I am willing to lay bare all my encounters with different enemy that dwelt within me, that he might find freedom and experience the same cleansing I have. I have a clean heart. My mind is clear, there is a lilt to my voice, I laugh and I have a sense of being established that I no longer am nervous about not getting His message or thinking my own thoughts were His way.
During the women's retreat, God led me to a passage in Isaiah Chapter 30.
verse 20.
Although the Lord has given you bread of privation and water of oppression, He, your Teacher will no longer hide Himself, but your eyes will behold your Teacher.
verse 21.
Your ears will hear a word behind you, "This is the way, walk in it," whenever you turn to the right or to the left.
I no longer live in a fog.
No comments:
Post a Comment